need

I've been thinking this last week how much we all, if we are honest, want someone in our lives who can say "me too". We all have this need to be understood, but yet often letting people know we want/need this is the hardest thing, why is that?

Last week i had this sick bug, i felt so rough. In the midst of it i was lying on my bathroom floor unsure if i was going to pass out or throw up at any minute, and all i wanted was someone to know i was there. I asked Jesus for help, but what i really wanted was another human being to identify with my pain. I'm staying with my parents right now, so eventually i called out till someone heard me. The next day i found out whilst i was recovering that my friend had exactly the same thing, it was kinda nice to know i wasn't alone in my bug, someone else knew exactly how it felt.

I watched this programme on tv recently where some famous people became homeless for 10 days, the main aim of the show was to raise awareness of what homelessness looks like. The homeless people didn't want someone to come in and solve their situation for them, all they wanted was to know someone cared, that there was someone who could identify with them and not walk past them on the street and ignore them. Obviously this wasn't the main point of the show but it was one thing i took from it.

A couple of days ago i read the quote i posted, that if someone can look you in the eyes and say "me too" and actually mean it - it can save you. Just so much truth in that.

When i look back over my life, over tough things i've had to go through and had zero control over, every time there has been some level where some one has been able to say "me too" just at the right moment, and every time it saved me!
whether it was in their tears, or in their company, or in their smile, or in their words, or in their silence, the resounding "me too" saved me! Deeper than that, the deepest most intimate "me too" has come from the times i have been in God's presence, in that place where there are no words but just eye to eye contact, and a deep understanding of "me too". In that place all fear dissolves and all you are left with is peace. It's like you were looking at this canvas, that was ridiculously busy with colour, so busy that it hurts your eyes to look at it, but if you break through it you find yourself in this pure white, you climb through the hole and you instantly feel safe, the white surrounds you, holds you up and is the safest place you have ever been. so good! there is no place for fear here.

In all of this we have a choice. We all want the "me too" relationships in our lives, but that means we have to allow people to actually come further into our lives than just allowing them to look in through the window, or into the front porch, or lobby.
We need to allow them to come into the inner rooms of our lives, and let them see where we need the "me too". There has to be a place in our lives where we aren't afraid to be vulnerable. Do you let people in? like really far in? or do you just let them keep going round a revolving door so they can see some but not really much. It seems like we get stuck going in circles sometimes with this stuff. We so badly want to know someone cares, or understands, but we are afraid if we truly let them in they wont care or understand so we will get hurt even more. Where is the balance? where do we break this pattern? where does the door to our lives stop becoming a revolving one and become one that can be open to the right people?

I was talking to a friend today about knowing who your key people are, i know who mine are, but i didn't always. They are actually people i chose to trust a few years back, i chose to invest in friendship, i chose to be vulnerable with them, i chose to have fun with them. Now they are my people i turn to when i need to be understood, the "me too", they know me, perhaps can't always identify, but they can always point me to safety of someone who can. I know i am safe in their hands. We all need to know we are safe, we all need community, other people. To have an ease in being in each others presence where no words are needed, because we are known. But what do you do when you don't have that? this is the question my friend asked me today... it's a tough one! but like i said before we have a choice, how far into our house will we let people come, yes there is always risk in that, they might not be safe, but it's a risk worth taking. It all needs to start with Jesus, to begin from a place of intimacy with him and from that continue with the people He has put in our lives to share in this big adventure with. Sometimes we just need to choose some people an get on with it. As there may come a time where all you need to hear is the "me too" and if you don't ever open the door, how can you hear anyone saying it? sound doesn't travel well through walls...