today someone asked me what my God story was of the last week, to begin with i wasn't sure i had one, so i asked Holy Spirit to show me as i knew there had to be at least one!
He reminded me of how when i'd gone for a job interview at the weekend they had given me double what i had spent on gas to cover it, so i spent 30 and they gave me 60. At the time when they gave it to me i thought how generous these people were, never met them in my life before, i spend 15 mins with them and they want to give me a double portion of what i need. Then yesterday i was walking to a friends house and passed a homeless guy selling the big issue, i thought it cost roughly a pound, wanted to be generous so gave him 3, as i walked away and looked at the cover of the magazine i saw it cost 1.50 so i gave him double what he needed. I remember at the time thinking thats how Kingdom currency works, it's double the value we would place on it. In the moment of asking Holy Spirit earlier tonight i felt there was an invitation to be a generous people, to not live by worldly currency, but by heavens currency, the two fold currency... it's that thing of freely we have received, freely give.
It's so easy to hold onto money, but the day we realise that it has no real value to us here, is the day we chose to be generous. This has kind of been my journey the last 5 months or so, i haven't really had any money at all, it was pretty tough. BUT God gave me a vision for this season, which completely justified all the pain i felt
as i knew it had purpose! He showed me that He wanted to loose the power money had in my life that i never felt the need to hold onto it. He showed me this through a simple thing i did, there was a friend of mine in school who was heading to england on her missions trip, i had a fiver in my wallet, i gave it to her for her trip, didn't even think twice about it, what use was it to me in the states...zero! It was in this that God showed me the place he wanted to take me in all currencies. It has been an interesting journey...many, many tears!
I think primarily at the root of this we are dealing with fear, fear of not having enough, fear of not being able to do fun stuff we love, fear of what might happen if we don't have something saved for a rainy day....it's a poverty spirit we entertain in this.
How do we know when we have broken through the fear? well all i can tell you is i have this deep assurance that God will always give me what i need and then double it! I saw this not long into this journey, i really wanted to paint but had no canvas, i asked Jesus if i could have one. The next day my good friend gave me 2 canvases...go figure. Another part of that is that i didn't need to paint, it wasn't essential to my survival, but God cares about the detail, He is a good father who likes to give good gifts. I feel as i said earlier there is an invitation to choose the way of generosity, to engage with heavens currency even though we can't always see it clearly, but to live in the assurance that God's got my back so i need not worry about money...
so here i am processing my thoughts, learning to let go, and chose the way of generosity....so worth it!
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